YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize