I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize