dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
