my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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