I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
