Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
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Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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