I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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