i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
