Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
