The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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