i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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