My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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