and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
