We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
