I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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