I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
