I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
True strength comes from lack of pants
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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