Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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