one two three fourrrrnication!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
