He kissed a someone with a penis
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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