drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
