I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
