I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
