She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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