I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
