So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
