Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize