Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
