Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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