tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
