I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
