Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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