I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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