he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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