I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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