never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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