My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He did a backflip because drugs
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
