pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We have started to decorate penises.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
