you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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