I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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