the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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