Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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