So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
