He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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