My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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