Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
