Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
