Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
