Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
