Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
