Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
