Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize