found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
