Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
