You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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