My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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