I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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