I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
