Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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