i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
These tits shall not be calmed
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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