Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
